Unicorn Stew
by ChamberDock
Summary: Voldemort is out to make Bob the unicorn into a stew. Join Bob in his adventure to escape the Dark Lord. Will he make it to saftey or will Voldemort get him first.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, that honor belongs to J.K. Rowling**

**Warnings: Character death, very mild language, OCC.**

**Author's note: This story was based off a game I played in one of my classes. Does everyone know the game where you sit in a circle and one person say a sentence then the next person says another to make a story? The plot was made by my class, but most of it I had to add to make it longer. Sooooo this is what you get when someone says: Once upon a time there was a unicorn… centaurs, magic, Harry Potter and Voldemort. Hope you enjoy. This is my fist fanfic, and my next story… it there is one will most likely be less… well odd.**

Once upon a time there was a unicorn named Bob. This particular unicorn recently lost a lot of weight and was quite proud of himself. He was kept at a farm where he liked to frolic in the pastures with the cows; he was the only unicorn on the farm. The cows were fairly good company but not very talkative. All the cows were always eating and when they got to a certain size they disappeared. This confused Bob but didn't bother him too much, except when he got to like the company of one, then the next thing he knew it would disappear.

One day Bob over heard a farmer talking to another man, they said they were going to make him into a stew. Bob of course was terrified of the idea of being eaten in a stew but he did not know how to run away from the farm.

At the same a centaur was listening to the conversation the farmer was having with a snake like man, which he recognized as The Dark Lord. The centaur went to help Bob escape the human snake.

"My name is Senate" the centaur told Bob once he found him "I will help you escape the evil man who wants to eat you"

"Why does he want to make me into a stew?" asked Bob  
"Because that's what Voldemort does, he probably found an ancient potion that involved stewing a unicorn that recently have lost weight"

"Do I have a chance" Bob questioned

"On your own… possibly, but with me helping you, your survival chances went up by 10 percent!"

"Oh goody!" he cried enthusiastically.

Bob and Senate went on there way to escape the farm. They were a day away from the farm when they heard a "_pop_", Voldemort apperated and killed Senate then popped away, not realizing he missed. Bob at the time was too upset to wonder why Voldemort disappeared without collecting his prize. Only one person knew the reason to this, this person was his… massage therapist, I mean who would want to be late for a massage.

"NOOO!" yelled Bob as Senate fell to the ground, dead.

"I must go on without him or Voldemort will come back and put me in his stew" Bob thought out loud.

The unicorn continued night and day until he met another centaur named Hab.

"I will help you young unicorn, for I know this forest very well"

"Thank you kind centaur, you are much more kind than that hog I met back a few days back"

_Flashback_

_Bob was walking through a swamp when he heard a snort._

"_Is someone there?" he asked_

_*oink, oink*_

"_Hellloooo?"_

_There was no answer. Bob made his way towards where he thought the sound came from._

"_Oh hello mister hog"_

_The hog just looked at Bob._

"_Not very talkative little fellow are you, well that's okay. I just was wondering if you wanted to help me find someone who will protect me from Voldemort" _

_The hog squeaked at the name_

"_What's wrong do you know Voldemort?"_

_The hog gave him a warning glare  
"Is Voldemo—" before Bob could finish his sentence the hog was chasing him around the swap squealing._

"_Please! I really don't like tag!"_

_End of flashback_

"Yes well one must be carful who they talk to in these areas" Hab replied

They continued together, fought their way past evil pixies and rabid squirrels. Finally after an epic journey they finally found someone who just might help them; a lanky boy with untamed black hair and emerald green eyes.

"Will you help me escape Lord Voldemort from turning me into a stew?" asked Bob hopefully. There was silence. So Bob continued "I know he is scary but if you could just lead us to someone who might want to help".

_Into the boys mind_

'What am I doing here… it must have been Voldemort'

_The boy looked around_

'What is that? A centaur and a unicorn… they probably work for Voldemort, what is that thing saying, maybe I should pay attention'

'They might not be bad, you shouldn't hurt them' a small voice said

'Screw this! I've had enough of being a goody two shoes!'

_And out of the mind_

The boys face darkened and raised a weird stick like object.

"DIE DEATH EATER SCUM! Avada Kedavera!" he yelled and a jet of green light shot out from the stick Hab. Hab fell to the forest ground, unmoving and lifeless.

"NOO! Not again! Why won't anyone help me! You will pay" Bob yelled charging at the boy pushing him to the ground and trampling him.

"No one tramples Harry Potter and gets away with it!" the boy yelled getting up and throwing an orange spell at the unsuspecting unicorn. He didn't have time to move; the spell hit his horn and rebounded at Harry. Then the unexpected happened, Bob thought the light would kill anyone in its path but instead Harry became a frog. Frog-Harry started jumping around like a child that just ate way to much Halloween candy.

*ribbet, ribbet, ribbet*

"Well that was unexpected… oh well what's life without the surprises" Bob told himself.

Bob did take one look at the once boy, frog before going on his merry way, he didn't however mean to step on him. The unicorn had no idea of what he did and never would. He lived happily ever after in a place called the Forbidden Forest, where he was able to prance around with others of his kind, who stayed around no matter their size.

Harry Potter, however, was dead. His body was never found by the wizarding world because, for one he was a frog and two a raccoon ate his squished remains. Neville Longbottom was left to defeat Voldemort. Little did they know their savior was killed by a unicorn, after doing the last thing anyone would expect from him, murder, of an innocent centaur trying to help a unicorn escape an untimely end.

**Reviews are welcome, even a, **_**wow… I have no comment**_** would be appreciated… even flames… they don't hurt my overly large ego! :P. **

**However I understand if you don't review, I used to have a review phobia… but I think I'm over it.**

**Remember this is my first fanfic.**


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